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This Onion article on the outdated Daily Planet is spot on:
Frustrated fans of the Superman comic book said Monday the continued financial stability and cultural relevance of the seriesâ Daily Planet newspaper is now the most unrealistic part of its universe and an annoying distraction that has ruined their reading experience.
While they acknowledged that enjoying the adventures of a superhero who can fly, lift a bus over his head, and shoot beams of intense heat from his eyes requires some suspension of disbelief, longtime fans told reporters they simply could not accept a daily metropolitan newspaper still thriving in the media landscape of 2012.
âI can play along with Superman using a steel girder to swat someone into outer space, but I just canât get past the idea that The Daily Planet still occupies one of the largest skyscrapers in all of Metropolis and is totally impervious to newsroom layoffs or dwindling home subscriptions,â said comics blogger Marc Daigle, adding that it was impossible for him to even look at Supermanâs alter ego, Clark Kent, without immediately thinking he would have been replaced long ago by a freelancer who gets paid nine cents a word and receives no health benefits. âEvery time The Daily Planet shows up, I just get taken out of the story completely. I usually flip ahead to Superman freezing a volcano with his breath or something.â
â The collapse of the record business has been even worse than the implosion of the newspaper industry.
Hereâs a Business Insider chart from last year showing inflation-adjusted sales of the recording industry:
That post-Napster collapse is even worse when you adjust for population, as Business Insider did in another chart.
Hereâs another stunning stat: No record released in 2012 has gone platinum yet. Only one album has sold a million copies so far this year, and thatâs 2011âs Adele 21.
â Mitt Romneyâs fundraiser in the Hamptons this weekend was a man-on-the-street bonanza for enterprising campaign reporters:
The Los Angeles Times (emphasis mine):
A New York City donor a few cars back, who also would not give her name, said Romney needed to do a better job connecting. âI donât think the common person is getting it,â she said from the passenger seat of a Range Rover stamped with East Hampton beach permits. âNobody understands why Obama is hurting them.
âWeâve got the message,â she added. âBut my college kid, the baby sitters, the nails ladies â everybody whoâs got the right to vote â they donât understand whatâs going on. I just think if youâre lower income â one, youâre not as educated, two, they donât understand how it works, they donât understand how the systems work, they donât understand the impact.â
A few cars back, Ted Conklin, the owner of the American Hotel in Sag Harbor, long a favorite of the Hamptonsâ well-off and well-known, could barely contain his displeasure with Mr. Obama. âHe is a socialist. His idea is find a problem that doesnât exist and get government to intervene,â Mr. Conklin said from inside a gold Mercedes, as his wife, Carol Simmons, nodded in agreement.
Ms. Simmons paused to highlight what she said was her husbandâs generous spirit. âTell them whoâs on your yacht this weekend! Tell him!â
Over Mr. Conklinâs objections, Ms. Simmons disclosed that a major executive from Miramax was on Mr. Conklinâs 75-foot yacht, because, she said, there were no rooms left at the hotel.
President Obama, on the other hand, has his palms out to commoners like Sarah Jessica Parker and George Clooney at $40,000 a plate. Heâs now done 174 fundraisers in the last 15 months, all while holding down that president gig. Quite the system we have.
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