So one of the more mystifying aspects of the Tiger Woods story has been the fact that so much of it has been, truly, a mystery. Up until now, we’ve known very little for sure about the drama that went down in Islewood last week, save for the basic fact that the golfer had an accident while driving his SUV on Thanksgiving evening, hitting a fire hydrant and crashing into a tree.

But: we’ve known very little for sure…until now. Because, now, journalists in China have employed a cutting-edge investigative technique—one whose methodology seems to involve, best I can tell, the fusion of dramatic reenactment, CGI, ESP, thought bubbles, meditation, claymation, Swedish massage, Nietzschian nihilism, string theory, and crash test dummies—to explain What Really Happened that Night.


[via Deadspin]